04.21.08
Am I Being Too Sensitive?
Dear Sage,
I have a friend who finds pleasure in highlighting my less than stellar moments. She thinks it’s funny, but it’s not always funny to me. I've tried to talk to her about it, but she says I'm being too sensitive. How can I resolve this? – Kate, Vail, CO
You’re already ahead of the game, Kate, by having the courage to talk to your friend about it. To help get you to your resolution, here are a few tips from professional life coach, Kerri Yates.
Take Stock of Your Sensitivity: First, it’s important to figure out how you feel about your own sensitivity when you take others out of the picture. Do you think you’re sensitive? If so, are you comfortable with how sensitive you are? If not, what would you change? Note: There’s no right or wrong answer here - it's all about what feels right to you.
Forward March: Once you’re comfortable, you can start explaining to your friend how you’d like to be treated. If you’ve realized you are a sensitive person, try saying to your friend, “I know I'm sensitive and I am working on it. As a friend, I need you to give me space around this.” Or, if you’re comfortable just the way you are, try, “I’ve looked at myself and sensitivity and I like how I am. As a friend that I value, I need you to try to accept this part of me and not highlight things that hurt me. How can WE make this happen?”
We Women: The WE part is critical. If your friend isn’t willing to work together, is it time to break up with her? Just remember, you need to do what’s best for YOU and find people who, as Mark Darcy said to Bridget Jones, “like you just as you are.” Because seriously - you're downright awesome.
I have a friend who finds pleasure in highlighting my less than stellar moments. She thinks it’s funny, but it’s not always funny to me. I've tried to talk to her about it, but she says I'm being too sensitive. How can I resolve this? – Kate, Vail, CO
You’re already ahead of the game, Kate, by having the courage to talk to your friend about it. To help get you to your resolution, here are a few tips from professional life coach, Kerri Yates.
Take Stock of Your Sensitivity: First, it’s important to figure out how you feel about your own sensitivity when you take others out of the picture. Do you think you’re sensitive? If so, are you comfortable with how sensitive you are? If not, what would you change? Note: There’s no right or wrong answer here - it's all about what feels right to you.
Forward March: Once you’re comfortable, you can start explaining to your friend how you’d like to be treated. If you’ve realized you are a sensitive person, try saying to your friend, “I know I'm sensitive and I am working on it. As a friend, I need you to give me space around this.” Or, if you’re comfortable just the way you are, try, “I’ve looked at myself and sensitivity and I like how I am. As a friend that I value, I need you to try to accept this part of me and not highlight things that hurt me. How can WE make this happen?”
We Women: The WE part is critical. If your friend isn’t willing to work together, is it time to break up with her? Just remember, you need to do what’s best for YOU and find people who, as Mark Darcy said to Bridget Jones, “like you just as you are.” Because seriously - you're downright awesome.
